I couldn’t. ‘You’re really good at it, you know. You can make a girl feel all excited. Get her all warm and shivery. You’re good. Do you have lots of practice? You know how to make her think you’re the one, the real one. I bet you get to screw any number of women that way.’ I stayed mute. Don’t be drawn into it, Ed. Let her talk herself out. ‘Well?’ There was nothing to say. Nothing that would help. ‘Was I just the rectum du jour?’ After a minute. ‘I bet you thought I was awfully easy. But you see, I never fell for anyone before.’ When she said that she dropped the tough-girl act and started crying again, in the middle of the last sentence. A tear meandered down her face, through the drops projected onto her from the window. ‘You were the first one.’ Oh Jesus. Have you ever really hurt anyone? I did her good. I’d known, but it’s different knowing it and seeing her keep hurting in front of you. It was as bad as when she caught us. No time had passed. Something, a song lyric, some. When I got home I told my parents about what a great time I had, how nice my date had been, and what a great movie we had seen. They were so happy that I had finally been on a date.’ ‘Well, after that I never even thought about having a date in high school. The story of the whole, miserable episode made it around the school the following Monday. I toughed it out, but Brenda left at noon on Monday and never came back that week.’ ‘When she did come back, she wouldn’t come anywhere near me, or even look my way. I was just as happy with that, all I wanted to do was become invisible, something that isn’t easy to do when you’re the usual victim for everyone that wants to have someone to pick on. I was lucky my sister was understanding, because I swore her to secrecy about it all. I didn’t want my parents to ever find out.’ Annie spoke up now when he hesitated and said, ‘I’m sorry I pushed you to dredge up all of these memories. I can see that it’s hard to talk about. Why don’t we just.
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